Today
I am blessed and cursed
I am black and white
I am a mixture
of light and darkness
of strength and weakness
I am to be admired and pitied
to be pushed and pulled
remembered and forgotten.
please forgive my wrong
and let my right
be the light
that shines tomorrow.
I’ve been here before.
And I’ll be here again.
It’s not my first mistake.
I hear the sound.
I see the signs.
I know what it will take
to get back.
There’s a good-sized hole
in my heart today
and from it I will bleed
at least a pint of goodness
before I face my need
to get back.
the sun is soon to rise
the garden waits
the grass sighs
every thirsty leaf calls
every root cries
but no rain falls
is this the day the garden dies?
Do I breathe
if thou givest me
no breath?
Do I see
if thy light be
only darkness?
And is it not
a gift of thy grace
to change my mind?
It is this miracle,
I now request;
that I may
with thee agree,
that what I have done,
what I have loved,
will become in me,
the thing I do despise
as thou despisest;
for it was once
the thing I wanted,
but now I see,
it is the thing
that hurts me
and keeps me
far from thee.
This miracle,
of holy fire,
I beg of thee,
to let me see,
and let its hottest flame,
now burn in me.
